i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
