I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
