3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
