just come out here and I will go home with you...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
