just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
