My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize