Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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