Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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