i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
