Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
