So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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