ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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