Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
high people should be assigned attendants
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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