I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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