Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
