Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
