remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
