We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
