i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
