Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
