New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
