This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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