I'm drive I can fine osifer
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
