The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
