Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
