we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
