Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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