This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
