it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
