Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
