I hate all girls vehemently.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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