She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
