so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
