I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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