One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
