I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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