Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
