I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
How does it feel to date your dad?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
