ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
