pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My hand turned me down
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
