I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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