I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
