I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
