i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Oh god it's open bar.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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