At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
