It's like God shit irony all over that family
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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