smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
