i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
