Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
