Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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