she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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