whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
