Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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