Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
