Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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