sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
