ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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