well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
this is an emotional support booty call
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
