hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
