i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
