I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
