Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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