sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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