After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
