I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
