do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
They have beer where we have blood.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
